MARIA SUE CHUNXI CHAPMAN, MAY 13, 2003 - MAY 21, 2008... YOU MADE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!
If I could change one thing.....we all know what that would be. May 21st inevitably comes, and while Maria is never out of my thoughts, this day is the day I wish I could have a re-do. So many things I could say... To all of my friends far and near. Those closest to me and those who only know me by the prayers they've prayed for our family, Thank You for your love. I think of the ways people have surrounded us, and I can't believe how we have been carried through the last 2 years. I have to be honest and say.... This is a hard blog to write, as I thought I'd be better? Is that the word? or I thought the sad would be not as sad? In the words of my Grandmother who lost her daughter, my Aunt to cancer.... It is not natural or right to bury your child. I was 13 years old when my grandmother told me that as she cried for her 43 year old daughter that had just passed. I never thought I would truly understand what she meant. But this is the path God has me on, and I know the pain of loss in a way I wish I didn't.
I never knew grief could physically hurt so much.
Maria, if I could just smell, kiss, and hold you. If I could just hear, watch and chase you. I close my eyes and I can all most feel you looking at me sometimes. Maybe that truly is how thin the veil between us is. I long for the day, truly long for it... when I don't hurt anymore and when I will SEE you again! Until then, I'll keep a watchful eye and try and love well, your sisters who miss you dearly and your brothers who would love to have another wrestling match with Sumo Girl!
I love you...To Infinity, AND BEYOND!