Caleb and Will opening...New EP avail soon @ calebchapman.com

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Comments

[jamie]

I have just finished reading "Choosing to See", as I am in one of the "lows" of life right now , I am lifted up by your faithfullness and stewardship. Thank you, and may God continue to use you even through your deepest sorrow. May you be blessed each day with God's loving embraces.

[Blue Laser]

I need to forget her.

[Debra Carter]

I am not sure where I want to start this letter. I have had a lot going on this past month and will have for the next few months. I have decided on a home to purchase and will close next week. This is a little scary and overwhelming for me as I am not even sure if I want to stay in Orlando. What keeps me here? I don't have the answers to any of those questions and yet I wanted to buy a house. Not because I think I will stay here forever but maybe because it is a good time to buy. It could be an investment property if I decide to move again. I have moved and bought houses before but never alone. I was married and the burden was shared. I think of moving and the fact that neither Gregory nor Michael will be here to help me and it is sad. Gregory is in Colorado and does not have any time off for the first year of his job. I will hire movers to do the heavy work.

Speaking of Gregory I am going to visit the first week of December. I was not excited at first to be going but felt I needed to visit them but I find myself really looking forward to seeing their first apartment and just spending time with the two of them. I have not looked forward to anything in a long time everything was more like a chore. It is nice to have something to look forward to. I miss Gregory and he is here with me still so I need to spend time with him.

One of my dearest friends, Carol, was in a terrible motorcycle accident on Michael's birthday. She was riding on the back of Dale's bike when they were hit from behind. She was in ICU for 4 days and the hospital for a week but is home recouperating now. I went to see Carol last week as I really wanted to see her and support her (she came and spent a week with me when Michael died) but I so dreaded the 7 hour car ride by myself. I knew I did not want (was not ready) to go back to Niceville where I raised my sons. I did not want to see any of my old friends and see the pity in their eyes when they looked at me. I did not want to see where my boys, went to school, played baseball, or learned to play the piano. I have such bittersweet memories there. I did it though on my terms. I stayed with Carol and only saw one friend, I did not want to see anyone else. I don't know if I will ever be ready but I am ok with what I was able to do.

What I learned from Carol while I was with her and Dale. I have not discussed this with her but on my long drive home I had lots of time to think. One of Carol's injuries is a crushed and broken ankle. Carol and I talked about her ankle (she is in a bit of denial) and Dale (hears what the doctors said) and I talked about her ankle as she may never be able to work her second job again. At first her ankle needed to be set and stitched and she has been unable to have any weight on her foot at all. She can wiggle her toes but all else needs time to heal. The staples have been removed now, the ankle is supported in a hard cast but the next step will be a walking cast ( Carol is very afraid of this as she knows it will hurt). The bones need time to heal before she can start rehab. She should be able to walk again but she will always have both internal and external scars. The scars will fade and the pain will only be if she moves a certain way, or if it is cold, or she hits it on something. She will always remember the accident and may continue with her life but it will be different forever. She even gets spooked riding in a car now.

On my drive home I realized my crushed and broken heart was like her ankle it has been broken and bleeding and needs time to heal. It will not heal on its own it needs attention to heal, it needs to be supported (grief groups) , it needs rehab and then maybe someday it will be healed but the scars will never go away. It will continue to leak and memories will make it bleed for the rest of my life. Grief is a journey and recovery is a choice and I make a choice everyday to walk through this grief walk towards recovery. I am hopeful to feel joy and happiness again.

I know I will forever remember Michael and will do my best to honor him by finding my purpose. I miss and love Michael so very much and only know the wound is healing by looking back at my previous journal entries and seeing how far I have come. If you asked me I would say the pain is the same, if not worse, as the day he died but really it is not as intense. I do have some breaks from the pain now. My beiges fear is that he will be forgotten by everyone but me. Also, when I hear from others who are not as far as I am in my grief walk, I can see I have made some progress. I also take comfort from other Mother's who are farther head in their grief walk when they have a positive outlook on life and have continued their lives (they may have pain and anger but they focus on the joys).

I no longer think that I can move on but rather I can make a conscious decision to have a positive and meaningful life. Michael's legacy is his life. He made each of the us more compassionate and he helped shape all of our lives and personalities. I can not imagine my boys without each other growing up. I have seen others stuck in their pain or anger. I do not want to live the rest of my life with the what ifs or if only. I would do anything to have Michael here but I am still his Mother that has not changed. I still love him and talk to him but our relationship is different now. It is not the relationship I want but the one I have.

With God I have Hope for the future here on earth and in Eternity. I can tell you I think more about Heaven all of the time and would like to say each day is one day closer to being healed of this pain but I want to look forward to living my life here on earth for as many days as I have left. I don't want my sons to think that I died with Michael that would be a terrible example for them. I want them to know I love them as much as I loved Michael.

Michael was more than my son he was my friend. I miss his friendship, our conversations, our time together. I am so grateful that I can call my son one of my best friends. I am so thankful that I had Christmas last year with all the boys and their girlfriends. I don't have those if only's tell your kids you love them and make time to spend time together. You can not change the past and have no control of the future so you only have today and it is a present.


Deb
^Michael's^ Mom Forever

[Chelsea M]

They're gonna be in our town on Tuesday! I am super excited! Its so cool to me that there is gonna be two generations of Chapman music!

[Nancy]

Awesome!
Please read this precious blog post about your hubby! I love Boo Mama's Blog...she encourages & writes so beautifully light yet, gets God's point accross.
http://boomama.net/2009/11/02/i-wasnt-planning-to-write-this-post/

Praying for you today!!

[Karen]

I went to the concert in Wetumpka,AL last night! The boys were great, loved it. I also wanted to just thank -you for your family's testimony, its amazing. I have listended to Steven's newest CD on line(linked from Jim Houser's blog) a little and really want to buy the CD sometime.

[Jessica in Macomb]

Listening to leaked music ! Crying, reflecting on the journey that you have each shared with us and SEEING God's faithfulness written in these lyrics! Thank you for writing these, SCC. May the Lord enfold each of you Chapmans (and family) in His mighty arms, comforting and enabling you to continue to share His faithfulness in the sorrow! Thanks for being real, for sharing your heart and allowing us to have a front row seat to what God has, is doing and will continue to do in your hearts, lives and ministry!

[t o r i]

I am SO excited to see what all is in store for this young artist named Caleb Chapman. ;o) I really enjoy following up on him since we are so close in age. I cannot wait until November 3rd rounds around...I know it must have been such a hard album to publish, but I'm so glad and grateful that God give him the grace to go through with it. Still joyfully praying for you and your sweet, growing family. Much love from Texas. :o)

[Christelle]

Guess my surprise after reading about Caleb on your blog yesterday, to walk into my local church library and see the poster announcing that Caleb will be performing on November 8th, 2009 at Westbrook Church in Hartland Wisconsin!!! I am soooo excited!! My husband and I moved to the US 6 years ago and I've always enjoyed SCC's music, Cinderella stole my heart because I have a 5 year old that just love to dress up, she knows every word by heart. It is also your family's story that has brought an unexpected possibility of adoption across our path. We have two biological children and are deciding if we should add more, when all of a sudden God is pressing the need of orphans on our hearts.
We have just begun to research the possibilities,and I thank you for the awesome resources in Show Hope.

May God bless you and your family!

[twitter.com/SDGfrontrowgirl]

Absolutely splendid!!How awesome and uh yeah, a proud mom and dad!!Love you all and they rock.Have been so blessed and helped by you all.I am here for you.Love,hugs and prayers always!!

Your dear precious friend and sis in Christ,

Stephanie G
May ministries Lord have you all in soar to hem of heaven!!

[Stacey]

Mary Beth,
Wow, how time flies! We have been a family that has been ministered by yours since waaaaaayyyyy back when Steven began his musical career...and look, now your boys. What a blessing for you all, and now us. I rejoice with you as a mother myself, how fun and how exciting. Can't wait to see how God will use them!

Also, we will be in Franklin for the first time ever in a few weeks. Can you recommend any 'must sees' and 'must eats'? Only a few days there, but we're excited!

Praying as the Holy Spirit leads dear sister-friend, as you experience the highs and the lows.
Stacey

[Cindy Koester,MN]

MaryBeth,
That is SO awesome!
How special a night...to see them like that performing! Such very strong...and very good young guys!
You are a beautiful momma!

Hugs and prayers,
CindyK

[Michele Kelly]

Mary Beth,

As a fan of SCC for 20 years, since I was eight years old, it is a great joy for me to see your boys follow in their earthly father's footsteps. I know that it is a glorious sight for their Heavenly Father as well, and I have no doubt that you all are very proud of them.

Praying that God will richly bless this ministry of song,

Michele

[Rebecca Whalen]

Be Proud, Chapman Parents!
Rebecca
SC

[Tori]

Wonderful!
Blessings on them both!

[Chrissy Matthews]

Enjoy itty bitty Litchfield!

[Julie]

Such a proud mom moment right there! :) Soak it all up! There's something about other people cheering for your kids that makes it even more special too!