MaryBeth

On the Journey to Dress Rehearsal!

The girls are looking ready for their big recital. They are the cutest performers I know. They even top SCC!

Pool Fun!

First time in over a year that I am watching my girls swim. Maria loved the pool and her theatrics are missed...Tears and laughter are flowing today at the Chapman Home!

Tree House Fun!

For those of you wondering....yes...that is the Tree House that Caleb promised he would live in forever while protecting his Mom!  All is forgiven because we LOVE Julia, he wife....and they are only about 5 miles from us!!!  YIPEE!  and guess what?  There new home....not much bigger...but it does have a roof and indoor plumbing....Which is nice....  LOL!

A Blessing and Diploma For Will Franklin/Thoughts of a little girl named Maria

 
 

Above are some of our fun pictures of the graduation ceremony that took place tonight at Christ Presbyterian Academy, exactly 1 year to the day that we stood on that very platform to say goodbye to our little girl, Maria Sue.  God is either a truth or a lie.  Everything He Has said and promised is either 100% true, or it is lie after lie after lie.  Today, along with many days this year, Satan was crushed, and what the enemy intended for evil....God intended for good, and GREAT it was!  Every senior has a blessing written for them and a scripture verse read over them as they graduate from CPA.  The seniors, once again in honor of Maria and our family, and the fact that it was the anniversary of the funeral, walked bare footed, symbolizing they were on Holy Ground!  It was a wonderful service.  The speakers both touching on the fact that the class of 2009 have grown deeply rooted in their faith because tragedy not only struck once, but three times this year.  May, it was our sweet Maria.... October, a teacher at our school suddenly passed away, leaving a senior daughter to wade the waters or grief...and then...in March of 2009, a CPA had a student took His own life, which rocked the entire community of our school.  This class has been through a lot and they have come through stronger than most because I believe God has a great plan for the students of the class of 2009.  I want to leave you all tonight with Will Franklin's blessing and scripture verse:

Will Franklin Chapman - Courageous, "appointed one", gifted, authentic, and tender; one who has walked with vulnerability and grace through the most trying of times; Will knows what is important and what he values; resourceful, resilient, more than a survivor; a persistent warrior who knows which battles to fight; great sense of humor; excellent musician and great team player; he has walked out the Gospel before us; given the gift of faith to carry him through, he is and will be an over comer and a conqueror...steadfast in spirit; he has a radiance and transparency that draw us to Christ.
Psalm 73: 25-26 "Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

I also want to tell you part of someone else's blessing and scripture.  David Anderson, Will's best buddy...has never let Will go....This whole year he has been he faithful friend...Showing what it actually means to be someone who won't let you go, no matter what!  He is Julia's brother, and someone that I would take in as my own son.

David Bryant Anderson - A respectful and hardworking individual with a passion for life.  David has loved his friend well and carried his burden this year in an honorable and gentle way;  Just the fact that they wrote this in his blessing means one thing....He has been a friend who sticks closer than a brother!  I am so thankful for friends in Will's life this past year.  If I got started naming them all I would surely forget someone....But David....I love you and would take you as my own!  I am so proud to call you my son's best friend.

A day of mourning....ashes....one year later a place of beauty.....The pain still there...most the times as sharp as ever...God allowing the chisel and hammer to do his beautiful work in and amongst our friends and family.  Maria's death has taken a toll on a lot of us....Not just our family....Those closest to us are mourning and grieving her just as deeply as us, and the toll it has taken on them is as great as ours.  On days, I am guilt ridden that other people have willingly jumped in this fiery pit with us, and then, I realize that if these friends wouldn't have taken the plunge into this dark seemingly endless pit with us, I'd still be at the bottom....God has sent amazing friends that have willingly given up their time/days/months/now a year, to walk right along beside us.  Amazing!  You know who you are, and you all are my hero's!  It is just not as fun without Maria....She was  the funniest most stubborn hoot of a little girl ever....we will ALWAYS be different because we knew her....we will ALWAYS be different because we lost her.  A Chinese friend wrote us the other day to encourage us during this time of anniversary of the accident, etc.  He ended he letter in his somewhat broken Chinese language by saying this:

"We are thankful that Maria was with your family, so that now she is with God"... Could it be that this little girl was simply given to us for a short time so that she would ask Jesus into her heart, and then as simple as that was, leave just two months later to go be with him?  Hard to fathom but completely something only God could orchestrate!  Lord I trust you, help my unbelief......that is where I am, but slowly, slowly, wallowing through this complex journey God has set before us Chapmans who long to show a suffering world that there is Hope....but only through Him.  Love to all and congrats to all those Graduates out there.

Hugs to the seniors and their moms,

Mary Beth

PS  The last picture is a new kind of honor cord....the "Power" cord....LOL.  Will said they didn't have an honor cord for him so he thought maybe he could wear his own "cord".....I'm just thankful he didn't try to graduate with it on....A little pre graduation humor....but I gotta admit...I laughed out loud!  I will say this....He finished on the A/B honor roll.....  a BIG accomplishment for a drummer in a college prep school!  So proud of that boy!!!!!!!!!

Will Franklin is a graduate! COME ON!

Today is your day Will Franklin!

Pictures to be posted later, but I just had to check in quickly to tell all of my faithful blog friends that Will Franklin Chapman is graduating today!  This is no small task for a Drummer who wants to drum but has attended a College Prep School K-12 (with the exception of 11th grade, when he home schooled to...yes...go on the road to drum!)  At any rate, this has been one long journey!  This year has been the toughest that any 17/18 year old should have to live through, but God is using him as a witness not only to his school but to the entire nation!  I have heard the leadership in our school say that he is an amazing young man with a lot of strength who leads with an amazing broken yet strong spirit!!!  Please pray for us and with us that he would feel God with him as he walks across the same stage that one year ago today the entire Chapman family stood at the funeral of Maria Sue.  God can and will continue to bring beauty from our ashes.  Will Franklin......We Love You and are thankful that God gave you to us to be our Son.  As you celebrate today with friends who have walked this journey with you this past year, know that not only is God well pleased, but Maria is right there with you.....saying...."just you wait....just you wait and SEE what God has for you....it's all OK, because God's plans are bigger and if you'll just let him, watch what He is gonna do through you!"....and by the way....the visual I have of Maria is one of her naked in her curious George panties!  Are there Curious George Panties in heaven?  Well, if there are...Maria has them on!  Oh, and by the way....Will Franklin ended his High School Year on the A/B honor roll I might add!  WHOO HOO!

A MOTHER'S HEART FOR TWO VERY BRAVE CHAPMAN CHILDREN!

Never in a million years would I think I would be sitting here on May 21, 2009 writing to you, my faithful blog friends about this.  Most of my words will seem empty today because I'm kind of in a surreal place in my heart as I try and express this Journey that the Chapman family has been on this past year!  Here is what I FEEL as this day starts out.  Sad beyond sad that she isn't here, angry and mad that this had to happen, confused and bewildered that it had to involve Maria's big brother that absolutely adored her, paralyzing fear that I won't be able to pull through the pain and be able to completely let her go...because she wasn't mine to begin with, and speechless to know how to grieve my baby girl who gave me soooo much laughter and joy and then turn around and hold tightly to the young man who is walking through this tragedy at 18 years old...Maria's buddy, Will, (the bravest young man I know!), and at my darkest place, I wonder.....God, where are you and why in the world would you choose us to walk this out....It isn't fair!  And then, all of a sudden, I hear this other voice in my head that reminds me over and over again of not what I FEEL, but what I KNOW....It might on certain days be buried deep down in my heart and have a hard time computing to my brain, but here is what I know and what I choose to believe, over and over again....even when it is really just a bad day!  I know God loves me and my family, I know God is sovereign and He knows what is best for us, I know He has our days numbered and makes NO mistakes, I know that He will bring beauty from ashes....He has too....that is what I cling to in order to make it through another 24 hours.  Isaiah 53:3 kept going through my head the day of the accident..."that He was a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering"  I said it over and over and over again. He is a Savior who took on the suffering for ALL of us. He knows what it is like to suffer!  I love how the Message version of the bible states Psalms 30:5  "The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter."  I have to CHOOSE to believe this right now.  I have cried so many tears mixed with sadness of missing Marian, to the joy of remembering her!  I think when those tears get all mixed up together and fall, it has to water the dry places of our hearts and begin to slowly start healing us.  If not, I would just wither up and die.  I believe that God has not wasted a single bucket of tears that have been cried for this brave little girl who so wanted her brother to put her on the monkey bars that day, and the brave young man that has chosen to allow God to begin to heal him and use him for His glory!  I can only begin to imagine the story and testimony that Will Franklin will have.  But please, don't stop praying for Him...As with any tragic situation, there are good days and not so good days.  While we prayed for two miracles one year ago today....that Maria's life would be spared and that Will's life would be spared... God obviously knew He needed a spunky little stinker named Maria with Him, while He needed a very brave heroic young man to begin to tell the testimony of how Christ is ministering mercy and peace to him.  There is no doubt in my mind that God will change lives through Will Franklin's walk with Christ...so please, please, pray God's protection over him that he would continue to allow God's healing power to pour over him!  I told someone yesterday that I feel as though I'm not just walking through a desert right now....I'm actually wondering through it with no clear path in front of me....It is a very desperate place to be, and on lots of days, I'm strong on the outside but a mess on the inside....but I must hold on to the very real fact that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for me....that where He is I will also be!  That is very, very good news...because my Maria is there....in that BIG BIG House....with lots and lots of rooms and food! I will see her again, and I will be with her then,far longer than I have to be without her now!  It stinks on this side of the vale and at times I've tied my knot on the end of my rope and I am just barley hanging on....but I'm hanging!

"Even the saddest things can become, once we have made peace with them, a source of wisdom and strength for the journey that still lies ahead."  Frederick Buechner

I'm pretty certain that I am still on the journey of making peace with the fact that this tragedy happened to our family...none the less I'm journeying on...Once I get that far  I am trusting that the giver and taker of life will bestow the wisdom and strength needed to journey faithfully to the end of my time here on Earth, where I'll hear and SEE Christ say...."Well done my good and faithful servant".....and then I will run straight into the arms of that little curious george who I'm sure will be standing there in her monkey underwear and nothing else....but a big grin that makes it all OK!

I wanted to also take this time to thank the thousands of you who have sent comments, e-mails, cards, letters, memorials....We are completely humbled by your goodness and kindness to continue to lift us up in this way and by continuing to pray for our whole family!  We know for certain that it is those prayers that we PHYSICALLY feel daily that is helping us get up in the mornings, and to simply breathe!  We love you all so much.  Please don't stop!

With the deepest of gratitude and big hugs,

Mary Beth

Airing the Dirty Laundry....So to speak!

This week has been amazingly difficult...In more was than you can imagine...Obviously the biggest most glaring is that we are staring at the anniversary of the accident.  I've really not known what to expect or how to act....Knowing that the day is upon us this Thursday, I've been proceeding with caution if you will as the day actually gets closer.  Now this is when the story gets interesting...  Of all weeks...The last week of school, Stevey Joy is the star of the week, Caleb just getting back from his honeymoon, Will gone for senior trip....you won't believe what happened!  Yep!  I'm just gonna say it!  If you live in the South, and have kids in school....sooner or later it WILL happen....LICE!  There I said it....  Hopefully you all won't go running for the hills and the pesticides but yep, it happened to us.  What is so funny about this story is that I had just told my husband that if we were to get lice in our family (the girls).....I would go completely crazy and check out mentally!  I seriously said this in light that some cases were being documented in our school!  I thought it would completely undo me!  UGGHHHH!  But then I thought....It would be just like God to give me one BIG thing to have to deal with leading up to the day of the accident!  You SEE...I'm a neat and clean freak....So, what did I do?   For some unknown reason...I remained calm!  And what does someone do when you need to become completely educated on the best way to deal with something?....you call those who have been through it....and you search it on the internet.....SO....I am happy to report, after talking much and reading, and then acting on what I read.....we are taking care of this most intrusive problem!  The good news is this!  We treated both girls and then checked them for over an hour and 1/2.  We only found 4 on Shaoey and just a few more than that on Stevey!  We pretty much caught it in the beginning!  However.....Because I do things by the book most of the time.  We now have washed just about anything and everything that can be washed in our house.  We have bagged up everything like pillows and stuffed animals for 10 days like the internet says, sprayed all the chairs and couches etc.....We are now using special shampoo from whole foods that is a natural deterrent, and wearing a mixture of essential oils to school behind our ears and on our wrist as I obtained this recipe for repellent off the internet as well!  Yes....you name it, I've done it!!!  The girls have been checked for another 45 minutes tonight  as well as mom and dad, and we are happy to report....NO SIGHTING OF THE LITTLE VARMINTS!!!!!  Now tomorrow I get to start pressing and reassembling all the beds, etc. that were taken to the Laundry Mat today!  As you can tell in the picture, I had great, cheap help....It went by relatively quick and painless (other than I ruined 3 of Shaoey's favorite blankets), and now.....I've done the spring cleaning that I probably would have never done!  Especially on this week, when all I've wanted to do is cry!  I really wanted to be mad about this intrusion, but really....I think this was a sweet diversion to help me SEE that I still have much to do and take care of here...even when I really just want to be there...In the BIG BIG House, to SEE Maria....  One thing is for sure... I  am most certain that there are no Lice where Maria is!  Perspective...  A pretty big word worth pondering....huh?  Keep praying, and thanks in advance because I know you all will!

Hugs, but not too close (just kidding, they really are gone),

Mary Beth

Spring Cleaning to a whole new level!

Ok....Tune in later tonight for the rest of the story!

Look Who is smiling next to best friend Geoff!

SCC took time off 2 golf n the CPA golf classic!Check out sponsor sign.We sponsored it but wanted 2 bring awareness to SH!