MaryBeth

Chin UP!!!

My blog today is from something I wrote while at the beach this past week.  I wanted to share it with you though as I was comforted by what I felt God was leading me to learn.

Chin UP!  That phrase brings on a whole new meaning as I was taking a walk on the beach today (actually, the 17th).  I was asking, thinking, talking to God as I was focused....looking down at the ground, mesmerized by the sand and shells I was strolling over.  I guess I was looking for the perfect shell for the girls, or maybe counting my steps in order to just get the walk over...You see, I don't know if I know how to walk to just enjoy the act of walking.  Today was no different....I just wanted to get it done to get on to the next thing.  I was laboring away walking, looking no further than my feet.  I'm a get it done kind of gal.  While I was walking head down, zoned in to the 3 feet or less in front of me, I was certain I heard that still small voice of God whispering ever so loudly to my soul...LOOK UP, or CHIN UP!!!  You see, until then, it had been a cloudy, overcast, rainy kind of morning....the sun quietly hidden behind those gray rainy looking clouds.  To my amazement, as I looked up and lifted my chin, I hadn't even noticed that the sun had come out....It had pushed its way through those dreary clouds and was there, bright as could be.... The warmth was on my face was solid proof that those clouds were gone!  As this morning time on the beach unfolded before me a couple of random (or not) thoughts came to mind.  I as so desperately long to heal from so much pain...missing my sweet Maria...Trying to find the meaning and purpose for how I will live from here on out here is what was spoken to my soul.

•  If we keep our heads down, either out of defeat or loss or shame or tiredness...whatever the reason, we are going to miss the beautiful sun (and SON) that is right there in front of us, shining its warmth to our faces and our souls!

•  We need to understand down to the depths of our souls that whether behind a storm cloud quietly or whether blazing cloudless in the bright blue sky right in our face obvious, Jesus, the Son is always...not sometimes, present.  No matter what the circumstance. 

•  As we walk with Chins up, faces directed toward the Son, we won't see nor have to deal with the pettiness of life much like the hundreds of seashells I was so fixated on.  As we focus on Him, the things of life can be stepped over like those shells....(I know, easier said than done....trust me...I'm trying to preach to the choir here, who is.....ME!).  Is it possible that some of those seashells of life will just go away?  I think so!

• As we keep our faces turned toward Him, maybe we won't see life as a walk we feel we just half to get through and cross off our lists of things to get done.....laboring and counting steps as we go because we just want it to be over...Maybe we can actually start to allow God to direct our lives in the direction that He wants us to go.

•  He is gonna tell us where to step and when to look down if our faces are on Him.  As I was walking and looking up allowing my face to feel His warm presence, I felt like I was supposed to look down and open my eyes.  When I did, I was getting ready to step right on a baby hammerhead shark!  It was deceased, but none the less....A shark!

•  God allows the sharks of life like the hard places of suffering and difficulties.  WE ALL HAVE THEM!  But...if our faces are turned toward Him, He will tell us when to look and how to survive those times by completely trusting Him.  He navigates the steps and takes us where He wants us to go because He loves us and wants us to become more like Him.  It is not up to us!

•  Today, had that shark been alive, I would have totally freaked....heebie jeebies to the max....I could not have handled it!  I feel confident that God allowed it to be deceased so that I could at least write this journal entry..... and besides, I carried all the way back to the condo where we were staying and became quite the hero to my kids, young and old!

I hope that in some way, this has touched or helped you.  I hope that my journey will be one that will encourage you to walk....CHIN UP!!!!

Be encouraged today,

Mary Beth

   

A rainy day at the beach is better than a sunny day at school (so say my kids)!

God has been so gracious this week.  He has allowed me some sweet alone time with Him which has resulted in sweet tears.  I must say that the tears and the ache in my soul and heart will always be there for that precious little girl and for my son who continue to be my hero... But, when I am experiencing the taste of that salty bitter water that comes rolling down my face, God definitely meets me and whispers that slowly and surely those salty tears that HE created and gave me will begin to taste sweeter as He allows me to SEE more clearly the picture and story He is painting and writing in all of our lives as it pertains to Maria and Will Franklin.  Just like my son, Caleb said....  The painting now is really blurry because we are standing so close to it and we can't make sense of it.....but the further we get away from the painting the more it will come into focus.  I wish we could go back to May 21, 2008 and live the day differently, make different decisions about the day and still have little Ria with us.  But....  I know God was there and He is in control, just like He is with us when our kids leave the nest, or get married....  He is there.  (by the way....  Caleb and Julia's date is May 10, 2009, Mother's Day....  How's that for a Mother's Day present?

Love you,

Mary Beth

A REMINDER TO VOTE!!!! THANKS FOR INDULGING ME!

OK....A reminder....I'm posting this again....Tell everyone you know.  Watching this man this year up close and personal....I believe he would carry this title well.  He is a man truly after Gods own heart.  He has been amazing walking his family throughh this toughest of times.  I know this is not a Big Deal in the grand scheme of life, but I sure would like to honor him with this. Thanks for voting on the Internet and text.  Love ya, and thanks for indulging me.

Mary Beth

Ok....I'm a little embarrassed to do this but hey....it is my husband.....  This is the first time ever that you can do this...GMA is actually allowing you to vote in two categories.  So....If you feel so led,  Please vote, and please tell you friends too.... I kind of think it would be a cool thing, but hey, of course I'm a little bias.  Love to you all.

Mary Beth

The voting page is up. Alright Chapman fans, lets see you show up.  : )

You can cast your vote for Steven in the Artist of the Year category right now!

You may vote once on-line and once via text messaging.  VOTE BOTH WAYS

Vote Today!  

VOTE ON-LINE by clicking here.

VOTE BY TEXT by texting  DOVE SCCHAPMAN  to  72648.  (vote codes are not case sensitive)

Did I mention vote today?!?!   : )

Jaws! Oh, ok, so it was a little shark, and deceased, but still....a SHARK!

As I was taking a walk this morning and listening for what God would speak to me (more on that later), I looked down and low and behold......  A baby hammerhead shark.....  Good news?  It was already expired...  Bad news?  I knew my girls and for that matter Will and his buddy would flip to see it.  Why is that bad news?  I was quite a ways from the condo, and so I had a decision to make.  So, I did what any cool mom would do and picked it up by the tail and carried it home....Well, I got about half way back and I freaked out, wigged out, just plain got the heebity jeebities, ok?  Then I decided to put it in my jacket and carry the jacket.  I figured I could wash the jacket and then I didn't have to touch it.  And that... is my weird but true Spring Break Story for the day.  Enjoy the pictures.....and seriously, thank you for your prayers as this has been a difficult first spring break without out precious Maria.  We miss her but as always can tell we are being held by the ONE who holds her!  Much Love to you all,

Mary Beth
P.S.  Steven has written 4 songs since we've been here.  We've even co-written one.  Maybe God is up to something here.  Thanks again for your prayers.  SCC and the family love you!

Spring Break 2009

Well, we made the great pilgrimage down here in the new (2005) shiny BIG RED van!  The girls had a blast and loved it.  I will try and post a few pics here and there.  God is already at work as this is the first without our Sweet Maria.  I will more than likely wait until mid-week or even once home to share some of the things God is speaking to me.  In the mean time, Shaoey and Stevey are taking it by storm.  We even got to watch the shuttle take off last night!  The girls did the boogie boards and swam in the Ocean, and now are getting crafty back at the condo.  I love just being with them and taking time to appreciate the tangible treasures that God has entrusted as with.  We love the beach and are so appreciative of the family that gave this incredible blessing for the week.  We had NO reservation as we were hoping that Will Franklin would be playing Basketball in the State Tourney...  As it turns out, we were eliminated and now we are at the beach.  There are plus's to being knocked out of a tourney.....  However, would love to be watching Will play.  Oh well......  God knows what we need and is in control.  Enjoy the pics.

Mary Beth

 

Sic Em Bears! I have to be a fan, my daughter went there!

OK, so for those of you who know me....  I love Basketball.  If I can't watch my son, Willy play, then College Ball is the place you'll find me.  My son and I have always been closet Duke fans, however Emily is an alum of Baylor, so of course we root for them as well.  Well, they haven't had what you call a stellar year.  The entered the Big 12 conference tournament as the 9th seed.  Well, look who is winning!  Baylor beat Texas tonight in the semi-finals!  They are going to the "SHIP" tomorrow!  This gives me the opportunity to posted another cute video of Maria....and Stevey Joy.  I sent this phone video clip to Tanner and Emily when he was down in Waco visiting Emily!  I you watch closely, you'll see little touchy feely Maria wanting to hold Stevey Joy's hand....  SJ would have nothing to do with it.  Yeah, they were sisters...  They loved each other fiercely and fussed with each other as well.  I hope you enjoy this little piece of Maria.....  and even though I want Duke to go all the way in March Madness....  I must end this post by saying,

Sic Em Bears!

Mary Beth

Maria's Wink....I miss it!

I'm working on getting ready for spring break today....hanging out at the house all day (I LOVE BEING HOME), packing, picking up, sorting, you name it.....I'm doing it.  Trying to finish SJ's room, etc.  At any rate, I came across this video clip from a flight to China.  I loved it and it brought back so many memories...that I thought I would share it with you all.  I hope you like it.  Maria's wink was one of a kind, as was she....I miss her and I ache for her....  I am thankful she is being held by the one who holds me...

Love you all,

MBC

A Long Week Last Week A Better Week This Week, but I am Weak!

I feel the need to explain my week last week so that my friends here will know how better to pray for me. About a week and a half ago, I completely came to the end of myself.  I was teary......OK, I was just plain a puddle....Lots of tears that kept coming.  A lot of anger was just crawling all through me.  I just couldn't figure it out...  Where was it coming from?  Granted, there is a part of me that feels entitled to be teary and angry, I've been through a lot.  Not only last week, but this last year!  However, then I quickly prayed to God, PLEASE....I don't want to feel entitled, or act like I deserve to be in this place of self-pity.  It is an on-going war in my heart and my head!   I tend to stay quite conflicted these days since Maria left and went to be with Jesus.  But let me tell you about the last several days! 2 weeks ago tomorrow, our good friend, business associate, father to Caleb's other band mates, awesome husband, mentor to my son's, left this world to go see his Savior and Maria.... The result of a 14 month battle with Pancreatic cancer.  David Lipscomb was an awesome friend and encourager...one of the first faces I remember seeing in the emergency room at Vanderbilt the night of our accident with Maria.  I miss him.  I am sad.  While he was declining, David's business partner and good friend, Geoff Moore, along with Steven helped put together an evening supporting David and his family.  David didn't get to be there with us, he was already playing with Maria by then, however it was a sacred evening that I think was a profound event for our industry. Several Artist played, SCC was among them.  Caleb had filmed David off and on, and David's footage actually introduced the other Artist and he also shared some very poignant words with the audience.  At any rate that evening took it out of me....especially after the weekend I had had.  David had passed, and I was just angry....  Angry at David, Angry at Maria, Angry at Steven, Angry at whoever would allow me to be and not be angry back!  I was finally at that place of not understanding God taking away those I love, and leaving all of us here to wonder around and heal the best we know how!  That's at least how I felt....  Partly because I had gone back to the doctor to ask about some medication that I had been on for awhile.  At any rate, I needed to add a different medication to my list, and try to get my emotions and anger under control.  All the while, crying out to God to please come back and take us to be with Him and Maria!   I just want to SEE her so badly!!     Ok....  The benefit concert was Monday evening....  The funeral was 11:AM on Tuesday....  The Dr. apt. was Tues afternoon....  We went straight from the Dr. telling me I needed to add another medication, to the Regional semi-finals for Will Franklin.  We had to drive out to Spring Hill, right past the cemetery, so we stopped with some flowers and visited Maria's "spot" as we like to call it.  We tell our girls all the time that Maria is not there at that spot, but that it is just her shell.  None the less it is the "spot" we visit the shell at.  OK...  On out to the game we went, with every reason to believe we would win the game!   We didn't!  Will Franklin's BB season came to a halt on that Tuesday.  It was hard to believe that it was over.  No more games...no more Willy in the Purple, Gold, White, & Black Jersey #5.  We all cried....and then went to Chili's for milk shakes!  Still very sad it was over, another kind of loss.  The whole time this week is unfolding, I had Shaoey needing to read a big book on Laura Wilder and then have a pioneer outfit put together, and then do a diorama (SP?)...Literally a scene from the book in a shoe box....  and of course...a book report on top of it all!   Wednesday found us busy with that.....Thursday found me at the OB GYN having my  6 week check up after a hysterectomy ( yes, there was that too! )....Friday allowed a beautiful day that let SCC and I wonder out to the big Pioneer Day!  It was a BIG LONG week.  I didn't have time for anything I long to do.....  be at home, quiet, spending time reading, praying....you all know what I'm saying.  At any rate, I hope at this point you are all figuring out that I am really normal .....  or not  ...and on the verge of out of controlled-ness!  Friday night found us at Shaoey's BB tournament in which she played 1 game Friday night, 2 games Saturday night, and 2 games on Sunday night!  All the while I am the mother of the groom, with wedding plans coming down the pike fast...  I just married my daughter last October, my little girl went to be with Jesus, and Will Franklin is graduating as well.  I feel sometimes in the swirl that I am all of a sudden a mother that has 2 little girls, but ALL the big kids are still coming and going (I LOVE IT BY THE WAY).....All of that to say is that Sunday after the Championship game in which Shaoey did WIN!!!!!  Steven and I went to the Hermitage Hotel as a gift from our children at Christmas.  They had given us a gift card and we used it!  It was restful and very nice to re-connect with my Hubby!  I think I am realizing something through all of the craziness.  Yes, God wants my quiet, and yes, God wants me to rest and hear Him and learn Him....but all along, in the crazy last two weeks, where I hardly had time to think.....I realized that if I always think that I am going to finally get to that place where I am constantly trying to get....like in a quiet picked up house....then I'm wrong.  I need to choose to SEE Christ in every BD party I drive too, every piano lesson that gets taught, every Ballet TUTU that gets twirled.  God is with me.  He isn't waiting until I die for me to be with Him....He isn't waiting until BB season is over, or until I get completely healthy...He SEE'S me now....He is with me now...  I know it is a simple realization, however....It was big good news to me.  I don't want to forget.....I want to remember.....God was with Maria on May 21 and God is with Mary Beth on March 10....  I would ask your prayers as I try and navigate all the things that pull after me...I love looking after my family and I really try to put that circle around them that they come first....  After that....it gets fuzzy.  I will be working more at Show Hope as that is my passion after my children and husband...please pray as I get back to scheduling and working at Balancing it all.

I love you all, Thanks for allowing my honesty

MBC

The Ship!

Shaoey and her Team the Mustangs won the Championship!  They had to play two games, but in the end, it was all Mustang power!  We had a lot of fans on hand, and Shaoey's awesome brother, Willy Frank, ended up assistant coaching.  The most important part of the tournament was that the girls had fun!  Thanks to Coach Omer and Coach Heil for helping the girls have fun and learn the game of Basketball!.  I am always amazed at how intense any game your child is involved in can be.  As you will be able to see in this clip, the parents were very excited and fired up!  Shaoey was so excited....you just can even begin to know how hilarious it was to watch her play.  A Willy in the making!

Shaoey Tries the Flip! The flip video that is.

Pardon the goof.....  We are currently trying to figure out the flip video thingy thing that Steven bought about 6 months ago..... I'm trying to help him out in the tech world.  I'm on a huge learning curve though so please be patient with me.  Hope you enjoy this very normal 9 year old.  Love you all and hope this at least makes you smile!

Hugs from Shaoey.....and the Mom!