MARY (beth's) CHRISTMAS LETTER

I have been impressed for quite some time now to write a letter to all of you who have been so present with us in prayer during these last several months as we have grieved and come to terms with the reality that Maria is gone from us, but present with Christ.  We honestly don’t like that very much.  As we enter this Christmas season and all of the festivities that it brings, it also makes the point even louder that one of us is missing.  A stocking that won’t be filled, and less presents under the tree.  Maria had a contagious giggle that would fill the room over the wonderment of finding the elf that moves to a different spot every day during the month of December.  The reality that the precious laughter of Maria won’t be heard for awhile has been a quiet loudness that screams for Jesus to come quickly…not as a baby in a humble manger, but as the King of all Kings that will wipe all of the confusion and tears from this sad mother’s eyes!  I am eagerly anticipating His arrival, but in the meantime, I thought that I would and should update you all on the Chapman family from a mother’s point of view…. in kind of a Merry Christmas fashion!

M – Maria and Stevey asked Jesus into their hearts on February 20th.  They wanted to be sure that they were going to SEE God’s BIG BIG House with lots and lots of food!

E – Emily and Tanner were engaged on May 17th - their one-year of dating anniversary.  Tanner took Emily to SEE Maine, where his precious grandmother lived. He proposed to her on an airplane…. long story…maybe another day!

R – Ruthy and Will Franklin started dating in March.  She is an awesome young woman and has been an unbelievable support to Will during this very difficult time in his life.  They are SEEking Christ with their relationship and we love her so much!

R - “Roo”, or Caleb to you all (don’t ask how he got that nickname), graduated from high school in May.  He chose to be homeschooled, but CPA (where he attended K-11) invited him to sing at graduation.  The Toy Story song, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”, and a self-penned song titled “Goodbye” were his selections.  It was the day after Maria’s funeral and I was so proud of him for following through with his commitment to sing.  The funeral was in the exact same sanctuary, and out of respect to our family, the entire graduating class were barefoot in honor of our sweet Maria.  You could SEE Christ at work that day!

Y – Yeah Team!  GO CPA!  Ok, I am a little excited.  Will Franklin chose to go back to CPA for his senior year.  He decided to play basketball this one last time.  For those of you who don’t know, Willy is a talented player who was starting on the team as a sophomore before he decided to homeschool and play drums for Dad.  He now starts as a senior, voted a captain, and his team is a state contending team!   The best part is that the entire team wear an “M” on their Jersey every game in honor of Maria.  They want as many people as possible to SEE Jesus in this story.

C – Caleb and Julia are engaged!  November 21st!  I tell everyone that Caleb and Julia are elementary sweethearts.  They have known each other since elementary school and have been best friends forever.  They have only dated each other, and it is about the coolest thing ever!  Julia’s family are super close to us and it just doesn’t get much sweeter!  Caleb took Julia to Paducah and proposed to her at the exact same spot where Steven proposed to me!  I have SEEn God protect and safeguard them.  I know He has great plans for their life together!

H – Head em up and move em out!  The tour buses that is… Caleb and Will both homeschooled last year so that they could work at what they love!  Music!  They were hired by a tough boss, SCC, to play in the band. Out they went on the “This Moment” tour.  SCC says there is nothing better than to SEE his sons on stage with him.  When Will returned to school in the Fall, Caleb continued to play on the “United” tour with SCC and a new boss, affectionately known as Michael W.  He enjoyed working with both of these…how should I say it…. Patriarchs!

R – Relationships are all that matter!  That is what the Chapmans SEE as one of the main things learned from this year.  Things can change so quickly!  Do we love well those who are in our circle and out of our circle?  Christ put specific people in our path for a specific time and reason.  Let’s make sure we SEE every opportunity that comes our way to LOVE WELL!

I – Inspiring.  My three oldest children are simply inspiring.  Watching first hand and up close my 22, 19, and 17 year olds handle the press as it related to our loss of Maria was simply…. INSPIRING.  I watched my children interview with Good Morning America, People Magazine, and Larry King Live.  Enough to make a seasoned interviewee struggle with their answers.  Not Emily, Caleb, and Will Franklin.  The poise and gentleness that they fielded the questions with was simply amazing.  They loved well each other, and to watch how they honored their Savior with how they answered the questions was quite humbling.  Lots of questions, but the faith they have was definitely displayed for the world to SEE.

S – Stevey and Maria graduated from Pre-school on May 15th.  All dressed in caps and gowns!  Quite the day to celebrate the upcoming Kindergarten year.  They were both presented with diplomas, Bibles, and hugs as they walked across the stage.  Stevey said she wanted to be a lifeguard when she grew up.  Maria said she wanted to be a ballerina when she grew up.  I’d say Maria is dancing right now in the most beautiful of tutus.  I only wish I could SEE it!

T – Tanner and Emily were married on October 4th.  What a glorious day!  Not a cloud in the sky and the weather was perfect.  An outdoor ceremony where Stevey Joy released a butterfly in memory of the absent flower girl, Maria.  Emily was an absolutely stunning bride, and Tanner was a handsome groom.  We celebrated this new family with food and dancing at our barn afterwards.  I think it was a picture of what heaven will be like when we are reunited with Christ and the loved ones that we miss so much.  Can you imagine what it will be like when we finally get to SEE them again?

M – May 13th Maria turned 5.  May 21st Maria left for heaven.  We don’t like it at all, and wish with all the wish in us that God would’ve spared us this cross, but for some reason beyond understanding, our family was chosen to walk this journey of suffering out in front of the world.  Our only hope is that Christ Himself has been SEEn.  Your prayers have been felt.  Thanks from the deepest part of our hearts!

A – ASIA.  China to be exact!  Steven, Caleb, Will, and I went with several others to China for 2 weeks so that Steven could do concerts there!  He got to perform at 3 different universities in different parts of China as well as a couple other venues there.  We don’t exactly understand why or how (well, God Himself has given favor), but Steven is always welcomed there and is always allowed to sing and perform the exact songs that he would do here in the States.  We have huge hearts for China and hope to be spending more time there in the future.  You can SEE God at work in the people of China and we feel privileged to be a small part of what He is doing there.

S – Shaohannahs Hope!  Continues to be a place where you SEE God himself smile!  Emily, Caleb, and Julia have all started to work there this year which is so cool to see your kids loving something so near and dear to your heart.  Emily is the International Programs Director and as I write, is meeting with the First Lady of Honduras in Honduras to discuss adoption and orphan care there!  Caleb does all the sweet media clips that you SEE about SH!  He loves “creating” visual pieces that communicate the SH vision.  Julia is the organizational queen administrator!  What would we do without someone that is punctual and organized?  Maria’s Miracle Fund was established in honor of Maria this year.  To date, about $765,000 has been given in her name!  Thank you so much for keeping the memory of her full life alive so that others too will live!

As we look to 2009, we have much to be grateful for.  Emily and Tanner are praying about Bible College in Ireland, Caleb will marry his lifelong sweetheart, Julia, Will Franklin graduates from high school, Shaoey is going to be double digits (10), and Stevey Joy graduates from Kindergarten!  Steven and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage in 2009 as well.  I am anticipating a long vacation somewhere warm!

As I anticipate Christmas 2008, I have many thoughts flying through my heart and head.  The last several days, my mind has not been able to stop thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus.  Pregnant and scared, knowing that the baby she was carrying eventually would pay the ultimate price of His life.  How would I have lived differently if I knew that my time with Maria was going to be this short?  Regretfully, I would have lived much differently.  I would have purposely hugged and kissed more.  I would have tried to memorize and lock away in my heart certain smells and smiles.  I would have colored more and worked less.  I would have laughed more and fussed less.   Bedtime wouldn’t have become a chore to check off the list of things to get done.  Instead it would have been more of an opportunity to listen about the day and offer whatever words were needed.  The swimming pool wouldn’t have been too cold to swim in.  The flowers in the garden would have all been picked, and definitely more ice cream would have been consumed!

I wonder what it was like for Mary after her son’s death.  I know she saw him resurrected and was certain of the fact that she would she him again, but she was still his mom.  Mary found favor with God; therefore she was chosen to be Jesus’ mom.  But because God favored Mary, she was also chosen to suffer. Not just at the crucifixion, but her whole life.  She was chosen to carry a baby in her womb, be persecuted and give birth in a dirty stable.  Most of the time at Christmas we end the story there…. in the stable, with Mary, Joseph and Jesus receiving their company.  Wise men, shepherds, and angels - you get the picture in your head right?  The star, the animals, the Nativity!  What about the rest of it?  Mary, mothering the Son of God!  She was human, she had a baby, and she raised that baby with the heaviness that she was to see him suffer and thus she too would suffer.  I think when Mary was hiding things in her heart; it was a lot more than the reality of whom she carried in her womb.  I am certain that she was hiding away the memories of first smiles and steps, as well as the first tears and tumbles.  Knowing what was to come, did Mary have the opportunity to live differently as a mom to her little boy?  I believe she did.  I am sure that she watched him differently, taught him differently, and prayed differently.  I can only imagine the discussions that she and Joseph would have when their son wasn’t listening, how they probably begged God to let the cup pass from them, but in the end yielding up the prayer we all hesitate to pray when it comes to our children….  Your will be done.  UGGHH!!!!  I don’t want to.  I didn’t want to on May 21st, and I still don’t want to now.  Yet somehow we did, and somehow we will continue to.  I am reminded more than ever this Christmas, that it doesn’t end at the Nativity in Bethlehem in a cozy manger… it is a journey all the way to the cross on the hill in Golgotha on Good Friday.

Christmas for the Chapmans this year represents suffering.  For that matter, from here on may we always remember that it represents the ultimate suffering that came.  But isn’t it amazing that it is called GOOD Friday?  Why is it good if it is full of suffering?  Because Easter came on Sunday and what Satan intended for evil, God intended for GOOD!  Christmas ultimately ends at Easter and the reality that we will see Maria again!  If we are to live as Christ, then we will suffer like Christ.  I am thankful this Christmas more than ever for Easter.  When all the questions I have will be answered and all the tears I have will be wiped away.  Until then, Merry Christmas with the reality that Easter came and all of this suffering will some day be gone in a moment, and all things will become new and right and awesome!
Thanks for your prayers during this journey.  It isn’t an easy one and your love and support is continually needed.  May you be richly blessed for gracing us with your love.

Longing to be washing dishes in heaven with Maria,
Mary Beth for all the Chapman family 

Comments

[LORI WEIBLE]

I greive for your family but knowing God will continue to use your family and move many hearts like it has mine. Your all such a blessing of how to persevere. Listen to your music. I will never get tired of it. My hubby and I are going to hear you again in Michigan. We drove to Indiana to hear you and Michael W. Smith. What a blessing you are. Thanks again. Lori

[Tabatha]

Your family's story has really touched my heart in a major way. Your writings are truly inspirational, and I believe that you are right on target when you say we can SEE God's love surround us each and every day. I really am sorry about your loss, and I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers.

[Julie]

So beautifully written. Thank you for sharing with us all. Blessings to your family.

[Ruth]

Mary Beth,
I put your family picture on my mirror, on my fridge and in my purse. Everytime I see it I pray for comfort for the Chapmans.
Still in my prayers!
Ruth Meyer
Friend of Yo and Jim

[Jennifer Thomas]

Thank you for your beautiful, honest Christmas letter! I forwarded it on to our friends who are missionaries in Syria. You see, they lost their son this summer in a preventable accident. I wanted to let them know that someone else can really relate to how they are feeling. You all are carrying on remarkably well! I heard Cinderella this morning on our music TV. I was so touched by the lyrics and the deep meaning of the goodbye. I was actually moved to tears. I wanted to let your know that I'm praying for you and your dear family!
Jen

[Ivy]

Thank you for your beautiful letter.
I will always be praying for you and your family.

[Lauren]

Mary Beth,

I am a friend of Gwen O's and have been praying for your family this past year. We are coming upon the 2-year anniversary of our 2-year-old son's "heavenly anniversary". I am so thankful that you are being so open and real. After 2 years, my pain has not left. Neither has my God. And I am amazed at the many ways He uses other believers to encourage us along the way.

Maranatha!!

[Christine Gordon]

Praying for you all and are excited for what our Lord has instore for all of you....still praying for "comfort and joy" to bless your hearts as you long to wash dishes with Maria!

You are being loved and prayed for by the Gordon Family in Gloucester MA

[Kathy]

All I can say is, I love you. With tears in my eyes, and from one sister in Christ to another, I surely do. Come quickly, Lord Jesus! Amen.

[Kathy]

All I can say is, I love you. With tears in my eyes, and from one sister in Christ to another, I surely do. Come quickly, Lord Jesus! Amen.

[Tennille]

MaryBeth,
I can't even express the deep admiration and appreciation I have for your realness and honesty. God, I beg that you continue to wrap your arms around each member of this family and reveal yourself to them each day!! And as Emily reminded the world, may your mercy be poured on them new each day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Carol]

I'm a never married teacher, who adopted two boys from the foster care system when they were seven and nine. Now they are teenagers-- they have done lots of healing, but still have a long way to go, and almost every day is HARD. Thanks for reminding me to take more time to listen, and to play, and to love, and to pray. May our Lord fill you with His sweet, sweet presence as you walk through this very dark valley.

[jodi]

thank you for your beautiful christmas letter~! you are a great writer and Christs love and light most definately can be seen so much in you. just wanting you to know i'm thinking of and praying for you and your family into this new year.. many blessings
to you marybeth!

[Lois]

I can identify with pain. With a 3 year old and a 1 year old, I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago. I so understand the heart of suffering you express. The reality and difficulty of things you would never choose, and the longing to see God make this chaos right someday. Thank you for once again reminding me of things I was reminding others of just months ago - spending life on what really matters. I hear you.

[Gianna Heath]

I lost a son. You never get over it, you just learn to live with a broken heart. We have a special "Jordan tree" that we put up every Christmas and buy a new ornament to put on it every year.It gives us a specific time to think and talk about Jordan while we decorate it. We talk about what we miss and what could have been.

gianna heath
Aiken, SC

[A Thankful Mom]

With my two little boys in the background playing together and making sweet noise, I read this thinking how blessed I am to have them in my life. Thank you for making me recognize what an extraordinary opportunity my sweet Lord has given me with my sons. I should never forsake a moment with them. Nothing should be taken for granted. I will continue to pray for you and your family as you continue on in your journey toward "normal." Thanks for being so transparent with us.

[Daylene Miller]

I remember the night I heard about Maria's death on the late news. I sat in the floor in front of the TV and prayed and cried for your pain and loss. But, I also thought as I prayed that God had a plan and this horrible tragedy would bring a whole new depth to the witness your family brings to this world. It's not anything you signed up for, but as I have learned through difficult times, God opens up whole new avenues to share Christ with so many when you have been broken as you have been. You can look at a person hurting, say you know what they are feeling and they can see you really do know. God has a plan for each of us to reach out to others and carry out His plan to be a "Wounded Healer" to our brothers and sisters. It's truly amazing to SEE God's amazing plan to "work all things for good". If we look for the good in His plans we will SEE.

Worship is more than a song, it's a way of life. Taste and SEE!

As I hear the news of John Travolta and Kelly Preston's loss I again pray for their pain and wonder "How will you use this for good, Lord Jesus"?

D. Miller

[Amy]

Every once in a while, since the loss of your daughter, God lays you and your family upon my heart and I say a little prayer for you.

Many Blessings,
Amy

[Jorge Paredes]

Mary Beth - this year my wife, daughter and me spent Christmas in Disney World and we got a chance to see SCC during the Candle Light Service... for a moment I thought of your loss of Maria and my heart felt heavy y I began to cry.
But just as I was getting deep in sorrow, the ever present presence of the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, telling me that in Christ we do not have an end, but rather a new beginning.
I know how prowerful Christ's love can be and is, so from the bottom of our hearts we pray that Jesus' sweet presence will be around you and your family as He has always been.
In Christ,
The Paredes Family
Houston, Texas

[Fanestia Massey]

Dearest Chapman family,
I wish as a bereaved mother myself you were not feeling the pain that you feel. We lost our youngest son May 22,2004. He had turned 18 the week before and had graduated with pride from high school on May 21st. We have a program at our school called Project Graduation. All graduating sr.'s and their parents stay all night, play games, EAT, have lots of fun memories created and the kids win lots of money. It was started years ago as a safe alternative to keep kids in a place where nothing would happen. After being up all night, the kids in years past have always driven homes themselves as parents stayed behind and cleaned up. That year was no different. Our son left just a little before we did. I can still remember him waving by and my last words I love you and be careful drving home. My husband and I came upon his accident 15 min. later less than a mile from our home. He had fallen asleep at the wheel of his vehicle and hit a tree. He did not survive. Nor did I think I would. My worst fear as a mother had come true, I was unable to protect my son. Christmas as well as other holidays that year were not as they were and have never been, but I too, wondered even more about how Mary watched her dear son Jesus suffer, not being able to help. Oh how I cried out !!! God has sustained us over our loss and our son was an organ donor, he was planning on being a nurse because he wanted to take care of others. He had a love for making people laugh.... boy do I miss that laugh. Our house is now to quiet. We miss his love for music and him playing his guitar which he named Grace, he never went anywhere without her. She did not survive the accident as well. We cherish the memories we have of Preston and long to be with him again. When God calls us home, our famiy will be ready.... I know Preston is celebrating like never before.... I told Preston at his side that day, even though, I do not know if he could hear me, But I chose to believe he could, that I would do everything I could to prevent another student from having an accident. I along with friends started Preston Massey's Project Pick Me Up. We raise money and PAY the students NOT to drive home following project graduation. The kids sign committment forms and my team stands ready that morning to escort them to vehicles driven by their families and my church provides transportation as well. We do not solicit for funds, we have a road block each year and we have a singing at our home church. Since we started it in 2005 the following year, NO student has since driven home. PRAISE GOD........ I speak to our seniors and share my story... I also tell them I cannot be Preston's face but I can be his voice.... He would say DO NOT DRIVE HOME....... God has truly blessed us each year and I know it will get harder to convince them as years go by... please pray for us as we continue with this project.
My prayer for you is that God will use you even more so in your ministry as you serve him..... I will leave you with a comment one of my old sunday school teachers gave me the day of his accident. She said, "It isn't a ministry you would have chosen, but it is a ministry you have been given." I was MAD at the time she said that, but since then, I have come to realize how RIGHT she is. God continues to use our loss for his glory. A student was saved in his service and much more glory for God has been given in things that have since happened. I am so thankful for a God who uses my loss for his glory, even if it is for one lost soul. Stay strong my friend and know that you are continually lifted in prayer.... I live in Princeton KY and felt Paducah's loss of your child. To your family please give them my love and prayers and know we continuing to lift you and your precious ministry in prayer. You are a shining star for others and you show there is HOPE in being a surviving bereaved family. In his hands and so are you.
Fanestia

[Jackeline]

Thank you for sharing this letter with everyone. Your message has really inpsired and encouraged me. I too have gone through a loss this year; I was 8 months pregnant when my precious son died in my womb. This Christmas and New Year has also been painful and just as you said, I don't like it very much (I'd rather have my son with me). Although his life was short, it was very powerful! God used our son to bring many to Christ! And for that, I am grateful!

Please know that your words have really spoken to me and encouraged me in my walk with Jesus. Thank you so much! God is good!

[Jim R.]

Mary Beth, you (and Stephen) continue to encourage and amaze me, with your faith and willingness to share it in the midst of your pain and loss. Thank you for your Christmas letter, and I (with many others) will continue to lift up you and the entire Chapman family in my (our) prayers.

Jim

[Brenda Boudrie]

Mary Beth Thank you for sharing your heart. reading this letter again gives me inspiration to move forward in 2009 with hope. Thank you again for teaching us how to percevere, Peace and Blessings to you, Brenda

[Patricia and William Burdick, Souderton, PA.]

I too, still remember your family very often in prayer. I pray that the sweet memories help you make it thru the times of sadness. I have
"lost" two children in a different way, they have set me aside in a divorce with their dad and i have lost six precious years with them as well a little grandson which can never recover. Yet my plea everyday is God please pull them back to me. I pray it is before Jesus comes again but sometimes I wish he would come to end the pain. I know Maria is dancing in heaven in a breathtaking tutu and I look forward to meeting her and all of you someday there. Praying you the "Peace which passes all understanding" I send my wishes to you for the presence of Jesus in your manger to be fully felt and realized. All My Luv. Pattie B.

[Chris]

In tragic events we often try to find ways that our mighty God can bring good out of it. I want you to be aware that in our family a similar situation unfolded about one month after Maria's death. I felt myself having a panic attack as I saw my 4 year old grand daughter run and stand behind a family members running SUV because she thought she was being left out. After screaming, running, and scooping her up in my arms, I told her Maria's story. She asked me several questions and I know she understood how serious the situation had been. You will never know how many children have been rescued from potentially fatal situations because of the awareness on a world wide scale of this issue. Thank you for continuing to be so open about your loss. God Bless you and your wonderful family as you begin a new year.