House Mix

Cinderella jumps at iTunes

I've said here and to my wife and (non-blog) friends... maybe what Steven is compelling us to with the lyric of "Cinderella" is more important now than it was just a few days ago. It was always important. But I guess now, maybe it resonates with even more urgency.

iTunes might indicate I might be right. 3 versions of the same song in the top 10.*

Before last Thursday the song encouraged us to be better, to be intentional and not miss moments. Now, it... what's a stronger word for encourage? It urges us, it jumps and yells for our attention, it boldly pushes us against the wall like a good friend and says... Don't Miss These Moments.

I want to be different. It's not that I was a bad Dad or husband last week. It's just I want the new normal to mean more than we lost Maria. I want the new normal to also mean my legacy will be different and stronger and bolder and better. How about you?

* 2 versions / 3 tracks of the same song in the top 10.
#1 Cinderella THIS MOMENT
#9 Cinderella Acoustic Version from CINDERELLA EDITION THIS MOMENT
#10 Cinderella CINDERELLA EDITION THIS MOMENT

People Magazine and US Weekly Magazine Stories

Feature stories on the Chapmans are in this week's People (left) and US Weekly (right) Magazines.

On most any other occasion this would be exciting news, big outlets, large circulations. Obviously, on this week we'd rather not be in at all.

That said, we are thankful that they are very respectful stories and that the publications have called attention to Shaohannah's Hope.

One of the Unanswerable Questions

Everyone wants to know... how are they doing? I understand the question. So many care so deeply, so many can't imagine this loss. But the question is unanswerable, really.

I think Caleb did it best when he said at the visitation and at the funeral that the best term he can find is "confused." "We're sad and happy. Together and Lonely..." and then he stopped, realizing you can't describe confused, in his words, "it's sorta the point of the word." So much wisdom in this young man.

In this difficult time, the Chapman family has not done any interviews. In fact, the only comments the press or media has had from anyone associated with Steven has been through this website, quotes pulled from what we were sharing with you about what has happened. And in a few other instances, Steven's pastor Scotty Smith or the Executive Director of Shaohannahs Hope, Scott Hasenbalg. Still... it is just too painful, just too crazy, the grief too deep.

On Wednesday night and Thursday, they were truly despondent and wailing through this horrible unthinkable thing. On Friday late morning, I saw the family start to string sentences together. And then at the Memorial Service, Saturday, though the emotion was still raw and the pain is still so deep, profound things were said by these people struggling to find their way in a world without Maria.

I've been privileged to be with them each day of this horrible week... so how are they doing? It is unanswerable... but I'll say this... I see them holding on to the Gospel better than you could imagine or hope for, just as you might think they would. Today, the room is quiet, the talk is somber... but occasionally you'll see a smile. Once in awhile, you might even hear a light laugh. Hope never left, and hope is just starting to show itself again, in small ways. There is still profound sadness. There is still deep concern for some in the family and how they will chart their way out of these dark days. But, there is a Savior, they are sure of it, I hear them talking about it. Heaven is real. It's real-er than ever to this close knit family. Sadness with hope.

A wedding cake picked out today, hope with sadness.
a little girl crying missing her sister, sadness with hope.
basketball practice and carpool and lasagna from friends for dinner.
The new normal is not much fun right now.

And then there is a community of family and friends (including you!) praying. Your prayers are often talked about and appreciated. The family is overwhelmed by your support and is comforted by it, be assured. Grateful for you.

Grande Love

Delivered with hopes of brining a little bit of cheer to my sad friend Mary Beth this morning. THANKS for your prayers!

Oh yeah, we release an album today

It was in the plan all along.

Steven had written too many songs for this album and we had at least 2 or 3 extras he was going to demand be released at some point. But because of contractual restrictions and the business of the music industry, 11 or 12 was as high as we could go on the initial release in October. We settled on 11 tracks and a plan to go out with another edition in May (or much less likely Sep) of 08.

I think is was November when David at our label and I first talked about the idea of the other edition of the THIS MOMENT album being a "Cinderella" edition. I think it was David's idea. It didn't take long to get excited about it though. We could already see the song connecting with audiences on tour, we were preparing to send it to radio in several formats, we thought the message of the song was perhaps the most important on the album and certainly a theme that emerged on several tracks. Steven loved it too. Off we went.

I remember approving cover art in a hotel in Minneapolis just before we went to the concert at Tom's house in March. I remember thinking how important the message of this song is when I saw the video on Gospel Music Channel a few weeks ago and when I heard it on the radio in Alabama last week. Friends, the message of "Cinderella" is even more important to all in the Chapman family now than it was last Wednesday afternoon... before the world was rocked off it's axis for them (and us around them).

So if you see The Cinderella Edition in the next few weeks... that's the story behind it. Yes, there's new art, 3 new songs, I think there's an additional letter from Steven on the inspiration of "Cinderella" inside too. Let it be a reminder to all of us to pray for this family in the weeks and months ahead.

As I told some radio friends of mine on FRI, I know that the Chapman struggle and their pain is only a small snapshot of pain being felt around the world today. Others have lost children, others have lost loved ones.. and suffered nearly alone through it. More children will die today in Africa, go unadopted in America... there is pain all around us, it is a fallen world. It's just I'm so close to it that it feels so big to me I assume. And my name isn't even Chapman. I appreciate you understanding. We're mourning and we will for quite awhile I think. I doesn't mean were not concerned with others... in fact, maybe we hurt for them a little better now.

I didn't want to blog today. I'm blue today. Like when I lost my dad at age 16, I feel the rest of the world moving on, understandable of course. But I'm not ready to yet.

I've got work to do... Hard questions to answer, hard decisions to make... I've still got tears rolling down my face... and it's not even my sister or my daughter or my niece. I can't imagine. Please keep praying. That is what can sustain this family.

USA Today features "Cinderella" Edition of THIS MOMENT

New Cinderella Edition out and featured in USA TODAY.

Graduation and Grief

CPA, Christ Presbyterian Academy, is the school all the Chapman kids have attended, and little Maria would have started there in the fall too. This past year though, both Caleb and Will withdrew to be able to be on the road with their Dad.

Katherine, a tutor who the Chapmans are so thankful for, began working with Caleb and Will on set days each week allowing them to continue their progression towards graduation even though they were not at CPA. So, because of this, Caleb wouldn’t have walked at CPA's graduation on Sunday night anyway, he has graduated... with homeschooling certification I think (after 11 years at CPA his Mom would add here) : )

Before the tragic event of this past week unfolded, Caleb was scheduled to have a party last nite with two other graduating friends, and sing at CPA’s graduation tonight, to celebrate with his class. It’s my understanding he’ll still sing tonight. (although I'm not sure how)

I've also been told that as is the tradition with every senior class, they would normally give a gift to the school upon their departure... but that this class has instead decided to give their class gift to Shaohannah's Hope in memory of Maria.

How do you go from grieving to celebrating? I know we all face this at some point, and I'm never sure how to navigate it. The Chapmans will try tonight, yet another opportunity to pray for this family with such heavy hearts right now.

If you'd like to congratulate the gradate, click here.

Maria's Memorial Service

For those who couldn't be here, I thought I'd share a rundown, the best I can remember it as I was a bit emotional. It was a beautiful and moving celebration of this little girl's life. And in typical Chapman fashion... God was honored, the Gospel was presented, and... It went long. : )

Throughout the service, pictures of Maria were shown on screens above the platform. There were about 2000 people present and the program was just over 2 hours.

Michael W Smith provided a beautiful prelude and then sang "Still" to open the service. Then a prayer of invocation was offered, and a Pastor at Christ Community Church, the family's home church, Scotty Smith called us to worship with a congregation responsive reading of a portion of The Heidelberg Catechism and the question What is your only comfort in life and in death?

Matt Redman, who was in the airport in Atlanta preparing to fly back to his home in the UK when he heard the news of Maria's death, left the airport rather than board his flight and drove to Nashville to serve the family anyway he could. The Chapmans not knowing Matt was in the country had discussed him being a part and we're overwhelmed to hear he was able to be there. Matt led worship along with Christy Nockels singing several songs including two that Redman has written out of his own loss and sorrows, "Blessed Be Your Name," and "You Never Let Go," as well as the hymn "It Is Well."

Then Matt explained that Steven and he had penned a song "Close To Your Heart" a few months ago for a close family friend of the Chapmans just after the loss of their child. Little did Steven know it would bring comfort to him and his own family on this day, as Matt shared it at Maria's service.

One of Shaohannah's Hope's orphan care partners in China, Robin Hill flew in for the service and he offered a prayer.

Then family and friends stood just feet away from Maria's tiny coffin and shared stories about the spunky, adorable little girl. A few here...

Family friend Karen sharing how Maria loved to wash dishes butt naked, and loved when her family "was altogether,"

The unpredictable Mary Beth with a few stories including how Maria loved her nicknames and running the sweet list down,

Family friend Melissa challenging us to live like Maria and love others like she did, not holding back!;

Caleb sharing how he had prayed for God to heal Maria after the accident, and how God did it in a way that he didn't like very much (taking her to heaven) but that he has never been more convinced that Jesus is real,

Miss Meagan, Maria's pre-school teacher, commenting on her love of art, drawing flowers, her classmates and her family,

Emily telling the story of how when she told Maria that Tanner had asked her to marry him that Maria asked her "whacha say?" and Emily went on to challenge us with the picture God gives of how the groom Jesus has asked his bride, us, to marry Him with a relationship through the cross, "whacha say?"

lastly, Steven sharing that Maria had professed Jesus as her Savior and those moments; as well as a moving story from him about how he had asked God to help him see that Maria was safe, and how God showed up. (I'll let him tell it soon)

Next, children in the service brought flowers to Maria's casket as SCC's best friend Geoff Moore sang "With Hope," a song Steven wrote 10 years ago for a family that lost a child, that same family the Mullicans are now walking he and Mary Beth through this now shared tragic experience.

Scotty Smith then took a few precious minutes to challenge us on the Gospel, that Maria's story is our story and we can be adopted into God's family and see Him and Maria at the end of our lives. (I'm not able to do Scotty's words justice)

Tammy Jensen then sang "Jesus I Am Resting, Resting," close family friends mentioned above the Mullicans prayed to close our time. And then the video of "Dishwashin Daddy and "Bellyflop" that has gone around the world was played.

Friends, it was such a difficult, yet sweet time. I urge you now to pray for this family. Be intentional. Set an alarm to go off on the 21st of every month, or anytime you see an SUV let it be a reminder, or whenever you hear a Steven song... whatever you feel is best. As someone who has experienced a difficult loss, some days ahead will be difficult for this family because the rest of the world moves on and forgets. It's very understandable of course. If you can though, remember to keep them in your prayers.

I too echo Caleb and his wise beyond his years comment, after having the privilege to walk with so many of their family and friends next to the Chapmans through this time, I have never been more convinced that Jesus is real, that the Gospel is true. Despite this tragedy that could seem to contradict He is a good and sovereign God, we know the truth that is on the front of Maria's Memorial Service program! That He has plans for us "plans for peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Some Thank Yous

I am honored to be just one person of many who was given this chance walk alongside a huge group of family and friends with the Chapmans through this time. Though it feels a little odd to do a liner notes sort of thing for such a tragic situation... I'd really like these people to know how appreciated they are. Would you allow me a few stories and props?

I don't think I've shared here yet that I was on the phone with Steven when the accident occurred on the other side of the house. I heard the awful scream from my friend, and the commotion in the background as Steven dropped the phone to run to Maria's side and perform CPR. I was 25 minutes away in my office, so I reached out to two people... both only 10 minutes from him, his road manager David and the family's "Amazing" Grace. Both acted quickly. I am in your debt guys.

Grace has made so much happen these last few days. Programs, photos, being with the little girls that first night as we waited for news, holding this family up, amazing truly is the proper adjective. Oh yeah, and your sidekicks Wendy and Melissa too. Grateful.

David, beating the chopper there and being able to drive family to the hospital, praying all the way. Arranging things no one else would think of these past few days. Thank you David.

John, Steven's booking agent, there at the hospital within minutes and serving however you could.

Geoff, a steady best friend. I have no idea how you've done it all, and put the memorial service together, and sang "With Hope."

Mullicans, Andersons, Moores, Coleys, larger Chapman family, Scotty Smith, Hasenbalgs, Robin & Joyce, Tina, Sarah I know how to love better because I've watched you walk this out.

A huge thank you to Dale Manning, our web guru who worked through long hours and nights with me during these last 3 days or so. Dale took my call at 11p on WED night when I asked him to help me make sure we had a website when the world showed up in the morning. He did whatever it took. Dale, I just looked up and realized we have an album coming out Tuesday, The Cinderella Edition of THIS MOMENT. We've got a lot of work to do this weekend, Dale. : )

Friends, Michael W. Smith has been amazing to the Chapman family. Calling often to check on them, lending his talent to the memorial service, then just after the service he flew to Florida to perform in Steven's absence at a scheduled date, and it's my understanding he is donating all of the money he is making from doing that concert for Steven to Shaohannah's Hope. wow. His manager Chaz has also been so kind to me personally.

Matt Redman, you could've gone home Matt. You were at the airport, you didn't even know if you'd be able to do anything but hug them... you blew up your plans and came anyway.

Those who drove crazy distances or flew in to spend 5 minutes hugging Steven... Mac; Mark and Melanie; band guys of yesteryear; Jon & Sherry Rivers; Carmen and Dave (& Bill); Sandi; others I'm forgetting.

Stacie, Tricia, David Huffman, Leigh Ann... people who used to work with Steven who don't anymore, who have acted like they still do for the last 3 days wanting no credit at all. Thank you.

So many in the music community who offered to do just about anything you can think of for me and the Chapmans, everyone at Creative Trust who did so much, everyone especially Nick at Shaohannahs Hope who did so much, everyone associated with SCC's label or distrbution who did so much, Vanderbilt Children's Hospitals staff, and the various emergency and police teams.

Christ Community Church and Christ Pres Church and their staffs... wow. You have served this family and those around them so well.

And you... reading this blog... It's not gone unnoticed. So many of you have mentioned you're praying for Chapmans. And then on top of that praying for me, thanking me, encouraging me. I'm so grateful for this community that cares enough to read the blog, and to encourage and pray for it's writer. Thank you so much.

Goodbye Maria. (for now)