Mary Beth here.....

OK, I normally don't post, but here it is.  These comments make me sad.  I am beginning to think that the Internet is not a good thing.  At any rate, here is the deal with the EBAY.....  We have begun the grueling task of cleaning out, purging, getting rid of....which is WAY over due.  My hubby is somewhat of a pack rat.  At any rate, when Maria went home in May of 2008, we knew at some point we would have the project of making Stevey Joy and Maria's room into just Stevey's room.  So, 9 months later we are doing just that.  In order to ease the pain a bit we have decided to more cleaning out than just Maria's.  Steven, who literally has not cleaned his closet out in.... I don't really know... decided it would help if he got rid of some things.  So...not that I owe anyone an explanation but.......  after giving many many things away to people who could benefit from them...  Family among them.....  we let Grace take what she wanted.....  Then the rest, yes to Good Will.  Then came the discussion of what we wanted to do with the money that would come in from EBAY.  I decided that it would be a good idea to try and offset some of our current expenses that we didn't see coming.  Some of those things include tons of counseling.... and re-doing Stevey Joy's room.  It is fun to re-do a room, but under these circumstances, you have no idea how hard it's been....    Unfortunately, I am sad that I even have to go into this.  I am so thankful for all of the LOVE and support from you awesome fans.  I had no idea that this would create drama...  We are so blessed.... way beyond what we deserve....  But I am also a firm believer in being a steward of what God has entrusted us with.  If you love someone then you trust them... I sure hope that you are included in that description.  Please hear me say this....  The Chapmans don't have to EBAY items to pay for counseling......but being wise does help.  Please, I am a normal mom trying to take care of what we have been entrusted with.  Nothing more than that.  As far as the money not going to SH.  Please know that our hearts, souls, life, and time belongs to Shaohannahs Hope...  That includes our personal giving as well, but again, sad that I need to say that.  Believe me, there are days when it is so hard to stay the course.  Orphan advocacy and care is not where the enemy wants us to spend our efforts so the attacks that can come....they can be HARD....kind of like the comments here.  Thanks for understanding my needing to say these things and for understanding why the comments on this discussion will be closed.  Like my blog said about Twittering.....   now it's   "To Ebay or not to Ebay"  that is the question....

Comments

[Kathy]

Recently a co-worker returned from vacation and was retelling several difficult encounters with employees of the hotel where they stayed. At one point, she made a list of all the people who were kind and gracious to her and her family on the trip. She made a list of the people who were rude; there was only two people on the rude list but the page was filled and overflowing with names of all the kind, considerate people they encountered on the vacation. However, her overall impression of the trip was negative....because of her encounter with two rude people. She realized that she was choosing to allow the negative people to influence her whole impression of the trip.
It is difficult to grieve the loss of a child, and even more so to do it in the eye of the public who may judge or criticize decisions you make. I, too, experienced the death of a child and I continue to mourn and will probably do so until the day I see her again. Know that you are not alone and that your deep pain will change some day and won't be as intense. Little Maria has left her imprint on your soul forever.
I would like to thank you for taking the time to blog your journey and Witness to others in the face of life's greatest challenge, the loss of a child.
Your fan base is great. Your faith is great and Your Lord is great. I'm sure the Lord wishes He too could shelter you from the harshness of others.
God Bless you.
Kathy,
dd: Olivia Qingpan 8 years old, doa 2/01
dd: Linzi Chunyi 5 years old, doa 6/04
ds: William Peiming 3 years old, doa 8/07

[Lori Bourke]

MB,

You are one of my heros!

[Debra]

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:9 NIV

MB...I'm sad to see that people feel so free to share their opinions about YOUR life. I'm not sure what was said but at some point I think those things happen to those of us who put our life online with positive intentions.
Your note is encouraging and as the scripture says we are called to bless those that insult us and in turn Christ blesses us.
I can only imagine the heartache of cleaning out and changing a room and how great to make it a family cleansing to help ease the pain.
May God continue to speak to you through counseling and friends and family. Stand firm and faithful. He loves your family as is evident by the blessings you have received.
Also...thank you for SH. We love the ministry and support it monthly and more when we can.
Many prayers for you and your family.
debra

[debbie]

I didn't see the comments either, but I was SO mortified that you should have to go on the blog to address such comments...as if you don't have enough to deal with. Hey! There are tons more people who love and support you than those who would criticize you. You are just a mom doing what mom's do best!! When I think of what you are doing I am reminded of the Proverbs 31 woman who buys and sells to care for her household. I think those people with the comments should take a lesson from you! You all invest and give probably more than anyone...they should not judge. Keep at it! We are still remembering and praying for your family.
Debbie from Orlando

[Mary Rodin]

Oh, my goodness, MB! I have no idea what comments were made, but I applaud your being a good steward of your finances! :-) Times are tight for EVERYONE, these days, and being wise is, well...smart!
When we began our 2nd adoption from China we were not nearly ready enough, financially (our 2nd daugher was a Waiting Child, and our agency called us with her referral much earlier than I had thought we would hear from them). Thus, I began selling all of our no-longer-used-treasures on eBay. In just a few short months (five to be exact) I sold enough to substantially off-set our adoption expenses. I have continued to sell online almost 2 years since bringing our last daughter home (and let me just say our closets look much better due to my efforts! LOL).
Again, I applaud your eBay selling! Way to go...I hope you do AWESOME! :-)

[Janice]

Throughout this year past year, Mary Beth, you, Steven, your entire family have helped so many more people than you will ever know. So many people have gained strength to face their own personal heartaches this past year by witnessing your family's unfailing faith in God in the midst of what has to be the biggest hurt anyone can ever feel, the passing of a child. Thank you for all that you do for the little orphans, and for the wonderful things you do for us all through sharing your faith in Christ.

[Marianne Banks]

Hey Mary Beth. God is directing your path. No explanations needed to any of us, but I appreciate your candor and sharing your heart, as it gives us more to pray specifically about. We love you guys, even though you don't really know us personally. I still wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, like I did right after the accident, thinking that you or a close friend of mine who is ill need extra prayer. God can move mountains - and in this case, He is moving mountains out of your house to help pay for the "inside" renovations . . . I just wish you were hiring out to help me do the same thing, as we could use a bit of closet cleaning, too! Still praying in Springfield, Missouri (:>)

[Tori]

All we can do is pray for those that hurt us.
We are not of this world.
In reality while we are on this earth we will
be dealt unkind things.
Sorry this happened.
We are to never judge others.
God is love of the purest kind of love.
People can be unkind and that is the sad
part.
I saw nothing wrong with what you were doing.
Everyone has been on EBay.
Do they give their money to help others the
way you have done with your life.
Go with love and Christ is smiling down.

[Vonda]

I am so sorry hurtful comments were made. The only thing that bothered me about the ebay stuff was that my husband does not share Steven's shoe size or his style. :) Seriously, don't let the comments get you down. You have been through so much and have taught us so much through it all. We love you!

[:) Me]

I did not read any of those comments, either, but I would trust MB judgement much more then someone I don't know about who just makes a nasty comment on a blog page.
Thank you the example you have set, MB
I will continue to pray for your family

[stephiegdalyrist]

Mary Beth,
So sorry to hear you had that bad comment.Gosh,some people.We love you and are praying for you ok.

Let us all encourage one another,love like Jesus loves us.We on here and I will continue to encourage,pray,love up on you and many hugs sweetie.

So sorry about that comment.

Love you!
Stephanie G
Charlotte,NC

[Amy Jones]

So sorry that anyone would ever make you feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone. Enough said. Still praying for your sweet family.

[Tanya Robinson]

MB,

I am happy to say that I missed the drama. It makes me physically ill to know that any even existed. I'm not going back to read it because I know I'll get emotions I'm supposed to fight.

I will tell you this, MB, the date that you posted this.....you had been strongly on my heart that whole week. In fact, you've probably already gotten a card from me because of that. I don't care what anyone thinks about what you do. It's not our business!

I love you and someday I am gonna say in person with a big hug! Be prepared, woman! :-)

Tanya

[Chris]

None of our business. None!

I dearly hope that the comments left on THIS post will be the ones left ringing in your ears.

God continues to bring your family to mind and I continue to pray for His healing for you all- what a wonder it is!

Much much love from Canada,
Chris

[Chris]

None of our business. None!

I dearly hope that the comments left on THIS post will be the ones left ringing in your ears.

God continues to bring your family to mind and I continue to pray for His healing for you all- what a wonder it is!

Much much love from Canada,
Chris

[kev]

wow. you are a gracious woman. well spoken even in the times when you are hurt or offended. good for you girl, and i'm sorry that people would be ugly to you. you're a hero to me, and many others!

[Carol~Arkansas]

I, too, am sorry that you have to endure criticism and hurtful things from people. I'm sure this site was set up so that we, as fans, can be a part of your lives, and I can only imagine how hard it is when you have to endure people's hurtful comments. I hope and pray that they will realize what an honor it is for us to be able read about your lives and share in that on this blog. I have to ask myself what is going on in their lives for them to be so critical? I think in this age of reality t.v., and internet, all the outrageous behaviors we see sometimes makes people think it gives them the right to say and act those ways. Know that most of the folks on here love and care for this family immensely and lift you up in prayer on a daily basis. I will pray for those that have been hurtful and critical, too. You don't owe any of us an explanation on what you do or do not do with items, or anything else for that matter. I, personally, thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your family and your lives. It makes you seem real and encourages me to keep walking the walk with Christ......that it's obtainable and doable! Thank you!

[Wendy Lewellen]

There are so many lost people out there....I'm so sorry you guys have been subjected to such criticism. Although I didn't see the comments, it hurts me to hear about them. Your family has walked an unbelievably painful path, but you have shone so brightly for God. He is VERY pleased with you, and there are SO many of us who love you dearly and pray for you daily. The enemy will use all he has to try and snuff out God's light, but he will NEVER win! Why is it that we can't be honest about our feelings when we hurt and without being torn apart? Why is it that we can't do what we believe is best for our family without being attacked? Our family has been recently attacked for doing just that, although it's nothing compared to what your family has been through. Much admiration is felt for every one of the Chapmans, and also for all of those who have walked so closely with you. I have never met you personally (that would be awesome!), but I do pray for you daily. Keep shining for Him, and we will keep praying for the lost out there. :)

[Lisa]

Oh boy.... you could also say "To blog or not to blog". I don't know why people write things that they would never say to your face. It's hurtful and sad that people are that way. It's even more frustrating that we have to "explain" ourselves. I have had to remove comments from my blog as well and even some from family members.... defending "life" at times... I'm sorry you all had to deal with this ... I'm sorry that anyone does really. Love you guys (all of ya!)... God Bless.

Lisa :)

[Lori]

Mary Beth, you don't need to explain anything. You are doing what you feel God would have you do. I have found in this life it's easy to come by criticism but shows true character when one blesses people with encouragement and grace....it's sometimes not easily found.
My family has prayed for your family often over the last year and I have cried for you and your whole family's loss.
Please don't allow a few negative people to shut you off from the "internet" community that loves you and your family. I know this doesn't make anything easier, but you have inspired more than you will ever know this side of eternity!!!!

[PrayN4U]

Sorry you had to experience the cruelty of others. Amazing how the enemy can use people to tear others down. WE LOVE YOU CHAPMAN'S........and we pray for you daily.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

[Kelly]

I've got to ask...what's with all of the pencils being auctioned?? What were they from? There's so many!!!! :-)

[Kathi Belfiore]

Mary Beth, don't worry about the need to explain. We know and trust your judgement. We love you all.

Kathi

[kim from mississippi]

Just wanted to say thati'm SO sorry for all the trouble that Grace had to go thru in the blog world. It's ridiculous for people to comment if they dont have anything nice to say! She take the time to try to keep us up to date on fun stuff like the girls rooms, etc. I love to log on and see what she has posted/. Please tell her not to be discouraged and let her know we love her so much!!!! We miss her blog!!!!! Glad to see that you stepped in and took up for her,MB! After alll the family has gone thru, such questions shouldnt even be thought of!!! Praying for you all and loving each and everyone of you! Go Willy Frank, Go CPA!!!!

[Joseph and Karen]

Mary Beth,

You and your family are very much love and prayed for....

We saw one negative comment that was a unncessary for that person to say it and was very subjective.

At any rate, please do not let one or few negative comments affect you. You know that the enemy uses these people to discourage you. Don't give him a foothold...nor waste any of your energy. We will have to pray for those -- that made negative comments. They are pitiful.

There are more people that loves you and your family. Like you said it can be sometimes Dark and Hard road for you and your family to tread---just be reminded that you have the "Creator" on your side at ALL times!

"Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us."
~ Romans 5:1, NLT

Love and Prayers.